Open Letter To A Friend: Get Your Shit Together

Hey, man.  Remember when I told you that I have your back, but that’s not unconditional?  Well, I think you’ve hit that point.

You’ve had so many opportunities that many of us could only dream of, and you’ve completely squandered them.  Partying, drugs, and alcohol can be great fun, but not at the expense of everything around you.  I’ve told you several times in the past that there is a time and a place for everything, and you’ve clearly ignored my advice.

Remember that wonderful fiancé you had?  She’s gone now because you decided that partying every night with people who have been doing the same shit for the last 10 years was more important.  Frankly, I don’t blame her in the slightest.  She’s grown up, and working on her career while you would prefer to act like a child.  Relationships are about teamwork, not spite.

What do you think people really think about you?  You try so hard to keep up this appearance of an awesome fun-loving guy, but what happens when everyone moves on?  As you grow up, you’ll realize that everyone else is moving forward while you’re still in the same place.  Remember when I used to joke about the “cool kids” in high school that are still working at the same restaurant that they were 10 years ago?  I’ve finally realized that maybe you’re one of them.

I find it hilarious that you tout yourself as a “business owner” and “entrepreneur”.  You don’t deserve that title; you’re a kid with a hobby.  Have I told you about my other friends?  The real business owners and entrepreneurs?  They bust their asses every day and night to make sure their business succeeds.  They don’t complain about business being slow; they find solutions.  They don’t take days off; their days off are doing market research and brainstorming new ideas.  If you want to be your own boss, that’s cool; but don’t call yourself a “business owner”.  You haven’t earned that privilege.

Don’t even get me started on your parents.  I’ve watched you use and abuse them so many times that I’ve lost track.  I really love how you brag about your parents like it improves your own status.  Your father is intelligent, driven, and a man to admire.  Your mother is kind, generous, one of the sweetest women I have ever met.  You aren’t them.  You take every bit of opportunity they have given you and squandered it.  It’s time to grow the fuck up and be your own man.  Stop trying to live in the shadow of your parents.  One of these days, you’ll only have your name to speak for you, and at the rate you’re going, that name won’t mean shit.

I used to think you were a great guy.  You had so many goals and dreams that I just couldn’t wait to see unfold.  We would sit on my couch together, have a few beers, and chat about our plans for the future.  I really was convinced that you would be something great one day, and I couldn’t wait to see what you became in the future.  Unfortunately, I’m starting to see what you’re becoming and it’s not something I’m fond of in the slightest.

I’ve tried to give you advice based on my own personal experiences.  I’ve tried to keep you on track.  I’ve tried to push you towards something great.  I believed in you.  Remember when I told you not to let a broke welfare kid beat you in life?  Now, you just leave me sitting here looking like a failure because nothing I ever said stuck.

If you want to party all the time and waste the amazing opportunities that have been handed to you, go for it.  Just don’t expect me to be there when you hit rock bottom.  You’re on your own now.

Think I’m a super cool guy? Love my beard?

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